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"Do You Even Have to Do It?"

Updated: Sep 18, 2023

8 Questions to Ask Yourself for Stress-Free Decision-Making


"Do you need to do everything that is currently on your plate?

In my session with my Parenting Coach, we spoke about how I take on too much then, start getting resentful that I have too much on my plate.

She asked me, "Who told you to do it?" I chuckled because my husband asked me the same thing, and I was about to start a civil war.

She then followed up with, "Does it even need to be done?"

That was a whole other level of thinking.


What about you?

What are you currently overwhelmed by that (1) no one asked you to do, and (2) may not even need to be done? At least not now, or to the extent you want to?

Taking on more than we can handle can have immediate repercussions (balls dropped, relationships bruised, and time and energy diverted from greater effectiveness and impact).

The long-term effects of living on overdrive are far graver than these.


“Sometimes the most productive thing you can do is relax.”

-Mark Black.


20 years ago I suffered from clinical depression. I had simply taken on too much for too long and both my mind and body started giving in.

When I got over the initial confusion of how a 20-year-old could suffer from depression, I went from being and giving everything to everybody, to a person that was mindful of keeping my peace and being selective about where I invested my, "Yes".

One evening, when I returned home (I had been in boarding schools since 8), my mother asked me to do something. Sensing that I had emptied my tank for that day, I respectfully responded that I could not do that at that time.

My mother is African. In my day, you didn't say, "No" to your parents. So, she pressed, "Why? What are you doing?" And as calmly and respectfully as I could, I replied, "Nothing Mama. I am doing nothing, but that is what I am doing."

I had learned that doing nothing was something. I also learned that no matter how much I loved, respected, and wanted to serve my mother, there was very little I would be able to do with a mental breakdown, or worse.

Doing nothing is one of the most important things you can do to stay healthy, happy, and productive.

And guess what? When you take care of yourself, you show up a whole lot better in support of others.

In this raw and uncut video, shot at a public square (What? You don't follow the urge to shoot a message in public?), I share 8 Questions to Purpose-Driven, Stress-Free Decision-Making.

Feel free to engage these questions before you break the bank, and lose your nerve navigating work and life.

Write back to share the question that resonates with you the most.

We're in this together.

You've got this! And God's got you!




Want to Take Control of Your Life?

If you're thinking, "As if! Who can take control of their lives?" Many people do.

And I'm talking about high-flying, successful leaders that are making a great impact at home, at work, and in the wider world.

If you too want to enjoy every day of your life, I highly recommend, "Boundaries" by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend


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